Practicing being apart


Last week going to Höör together

Since November 2014, when we sold our house and took off to Southern France, the two of us have been together most of the time.
Choosing to live in a different style, often staying in other people’s houses and in countries we’re not familiar with, it’s been our new normal – always together.


In Bali, last November

If you have read the blog for a while you might know that we do have different internal “time zones”, and actually spend quite some time separately, but still – we’ve been staying at the same places most of the time.
Last summer there were some exceptions when we worked in different places, and went for some trips separately.


After bathing an elephant in Thailand

When we’ve been in France and Asia over the past six months, we have been together every day, rain or shine.


After morning surf in Sri Lanka

Last week I spent one night away from Anders, and now I am off on my own for several days. Yesterday we didn’t even speak on the phone, and tonight I try to not call him again just because I am used to always talking to him… It’ll be so much fun to get together again on Saturday!

Gosh is it a good reality check to see how closely we have been living! As a couple we have always been used to having periods of separation – if only a weekend here and there. But it has been a way for us to see each other from a distance, to remember what we love about each other and to also enjoy our separate interests on our own or together with friends.


First day back in Sweden

So now we practice being apart, explore our interests and to talk with others – which is also a challenge when you’re used to mostly talk to this one person who knows you really well and just gets you.
17 years we’ve been a couple. By spending time apart we keep the curiousity alive and still have things to tell each other.


Moon over the ocean

With love,

Oh, I treasure the moments!


Morning mix today

We have written about it before, the fact of our different personalities and the different “time zones” Anders and I usually have.
Both of us need space and time for ourselves, and we tend to find it and use it in various ways.


Morning under a coconut tree

Mornings usually are “my” time, and here in Thailand I’ve often taken walks, done yoga, read and had breakfast on my own.
This morning is no exception, and I just realized how much I treasure these moments. It was something I used to dream about years ago; to be able to start and spend my days in a very free way, doing what I really love to do – first thing in the morning. I created habits and schedules to make it possible when working, and now I am more free to do it however feels good at the time being.


Yesterday's morning walk

It’s the little things and moments that builds up a day, a week, a month and a life. How we decide to spend our time matters.


Afternoon on the beach the other day

We also love (luckily!!!) to spend time together – and those moments also become more important since we actually do take time to do things separately. It is a balance to play with.

Anders is now feeling better and today we have booked a very special tour to go on together in the afternoon.

What moments builds up your day?

The night owl and the early bird

That’s us, Anders and Wivan, the former is a real night owl and the latter a early bird. Both of us can enjoy getting up early, catching the first sun in the morning, listening to a new day waking up and how nature goes from night to day. And both of us can enjoy staying up until late, talking, reading, dancing, watching a movie, reflecting on life or take a late night swim.


Morning walk

But we have quite different natural patterns in form of what’s easiest. For Anders it’s the late-night-life and for Wivan it’s getting-up-before-everyone. (But really, lately Wivan has sort of lost that ability, and rather wakes up in the middle of the night, or late morning.)

The other night, at dinner with friends, we came to talk about differences between the individuals in a couple, and how those differences can be very good in order to keep the relationship alive and healthy. We also discussed the importance of doing things separately even if you live together. For us, part of that happens naturally when one of us either gets up earlier than the other, or stays up later at night.


Early morning overlooking the Pyrenees

When’s your favorite time to be alone or to do your own thing?
// Anders & Wivan