Intense first week back in Sweden

Last weekend by the pool.

Last Sunday I went back to Sweden after two great weeks in Spain with Anders. He is staying two weeks by himself at our house sit. We had planned for that and still it was both sad and hard to wave goodbye at the airport. I really loved the place and we had such good times together during my time off from work.

Mending a broken parasoll…

Since there was wifi on the plane back I spent a lot of time looking at other ideas for traveling in the future 🙂 this trip and time in a warmer and sunnier climate got my travel bug started again! It’s like my body awakes when it’s warm and sunny, and life just becomes easier and simpler.

Coffee at the airport.

Coming back to Sweden and work wasn’t too bad though I got less than four hours of sleep before getting up Monday morning (I start working at 5.30 am). And thanks to great collegues I have had a very fun week at work, except the cold weather and extreme tiredness I get from my IVF-medicine right now. Most days it feels like I’m drunk from when I get up until I go to bed. And I keep forgetting things and what my priorities are, so I am very grateful to the nice people around me who keeps telling me to rest and only do what I want in my spare time. This is not the time for big projects or effectiveness!

My breakfast today.

It was a great thing to start the treatment for this third IVF-cycle in Spain though, where I had no problem to rest and just do whatever felt good all day long. I belive I had less side-effects from the meds there and part of it might be thanks to my “airy” schedule. This was a big difference from last treatment, when it was a lot tougher right from the start. And all the time I keep reminding myself of why we do this and am always grateful for the Swedish tax system that means we only pay a little part of the cost for these medicines.

Flowering trees in Sweden.

This weekend I let myself totally free and do just as much as I feel like, or rest. It’s a sunny day and I need to get some sun screen on before I go outside.

Take care and keep remembering what’s good in your life.

Love, Wivan 

Not going anywhere

A moment to have coffee, and think about life

Haven’t slept all that well the past few nights, and I’ve wanted to really enjoy every moment so I have done a lot of little things.

And it’s been very nice at the beach, at the gym and at the sports bar to watch a game. But maybe, just maybe, the past six weeks of work and constantly meeting new people, planning and being at the top of my game have taken it’s toll. Let’s just say I’ve been doing a lot of live interviews on the radio.

I’m tired and this morning I woke up with a weird ache in my leg. If it’s something I know, it’s that the body needs deep rest to heal and repair all the muscles and stress we put to it. So even though training is good, some really good sleep is crucial to recover.

At the beach the other day

Today I had thought of going to the gym again, or go swimming, or take a bike ride. But what I really wanted was to take a nap. So I did, and then felt like having a coffee (in the afternoon = crazy when wanting to sleep at night, but sometimes coffee is like therapy!), and now I enjoy a cup in stillness with some music and a feeling of that anything is possible.

A picture to help me remember the amazing colors

Sometimes it is so clear how all our thinking about what is good and important stands in the way of our ability to take care of ourselves and really do what we need in that very moment.

Now I need to be my best buddy for a while and just love to hang out and do what feels pleasurable and fun, without a “smart” agenda or a grown-up-plan.

Throw-back to June and my morning hike with my niece in the Rockies

Love, joy and a bit of chocolate!


Letting insights in


Coffee and a chat

Over a coffee yesterday afternoon we were going to discuss what type of diving we wanted to book for today. We had just been at the beach and then taken a little walk – it was time for decisions and then off to the dive center.

Our talk ended in something totally different. We were not going to dive this Monday. It can wait. Something else is more important. The feeling. The sense of needing more rest.


AnWiSa in new diving masks

So, we let life be as it is, allowing ourselves to follow the feeling and just having no plan for the day – other than moving to another hotel here in Khao Lak.


Thai market

Anders was the one catching the sensation, and being brave enough to say it out loud – he needs more time to rest, recover and to gain more energy. Otherwise diving is just a “doing”, not a passion or something really fun.
As a matter of fact he was basically “touching the wall paper” with his nose (close to the famous wall) when he was still working, and there’s a process of recovery and healing going on. No one knows for how long or how the process looks, we just need to follow the feeling of the moment and trust that our guidence is showing the way.


Market day

As a part of this, we also continue to promise each other to be true, to speak from the heart and not hold back when something is important. It’s also a promise to take care of ourselves first, then each other – nothing else will work in the long run.


Wivan took a massage

So, like every one should ask him/her self every now and then; what do you need or want this very moment?

Lots of love!
Anders and Wivan


Tom Yam soup for lunch


Wivan + cocktails = true

Persistance and my ribs


David helping me with the wet suit

Seem to get good practice of persistance and endurance with the waves and my body this day.

The session went well and we had great chances to stand up on the board, to find the timing in catching a wave and it was good fun.


After surfing

My ribs got some hard hits and I was wining every time I layed on the board in the end of our lesson. Kept repeating “persistance” and “I am getting stronger” all the time.

Now time for some rest and I loved reading Leo Babauta’s blog post about trying something and sucking at it.


Morning at the beach

Trusting my ability to rest in the not so comfortable zone, and my body’s ability to heal itself totally automaticly if I just let it.

Take care!


Lunch after surf: hamburger at the food truck

Dolce far niente

It’s Italian and according to Wiktionary it means “sweet doing nothing” = “Delicious idleness”.

In the movie Eat, Pray, Love its described as the sweetness of doing nothing.

Dorian, having a hard time relaxing

Dorian, having a hard time relaxing

This morning after a walk and the dogs’ breakfast, this “little” puppy have been on speed, doing pretty much everything he’s not supposed to. Very puppy-like, in other words. Sometimes, just like with us humans and especially kids, when a puppy is tired beyond the need of sleep there’s no end to the mischievousness, playing, barking and what have you.

Part of my Dolce far niente - a cup of coffee

Part of my Dolce far niente – a cup of coffee

I’ve been cool about it, there’s no need to do anything as long as the dog and us around him are safe. He’s been chewing on an old basket ball, trying to play with a not-at-all-interested-cat, wrestling with the older dog, barking at… who knows what, wanting to cuddle, almost falling asleep, barking, chewing, wrestling, looking for other things to chew or eat… and finally, after three hours of being active, he was ready to rest. Almost. And then really, sleeping.

Relaxing AND ready to get up and bark

Relaxing AND ready to get up and bark

Why I find this so interesting is that I recognize myself in this behavior. When I need to rest or sleep but keep myself busy with things like a child not wanting to go to bed. As kids we usually don’t want to miss out on anything, and as grown ups… we think we need to do things or be awake and alert because…? Well, we all have our reasons and explanations. Personally I’ve become far better at Dolce far niente lately and love those days or hours. This is the first real day of Dolce far niente since arriving in Sweden almost three weeks ago. It’s wonderful!

See! He relaxes in such a sweet style!

See! He relaxes in such a sweet style!

What I usually say is that animals (when they’re not speed-puppies) are great to help us remember to do what we want/need the most. If a dog/cat/horse needs to rest, they do. Or eat, go pee, yawn, stretch, run, jump, shout… basically whatever.

Dolce far niente

Dolce far niente

Anders? He’s sleeping. And it’s almost noon.

Dolce far niente! // Wivan

Five flights later…


In the nice bathroom

Yes, it’s right, I’ve today taken off and landed five times. One of them I didn’t need to get off the plane in between, but the rest have been separate flights. Yet another experience.


My new BFF

Let’s say it is nice to have arrived at the hotel for a few hours of rest before going back to the airport tomorrow morning. I did see a Starbucks in there, that might be my breakfast!


Apple and a stretch in Pico airport

Morning walk and back to bed


The sun starting to come out

The past few days I’ve started to wake up earlier than before (don’t set an alarm) and the weather has been really good so I’ve taken Lucky for an early morning walk. And it’s so quiet in the village.


Lucky taking in all the smells

To keep it easier for me, and calmer for the dogs, I take them separately for longer walks every day. And Lucky is my morning companion.


Sky and clouds colored by the sun

Yesterday I drove off to Santa Cruz after the walk and had a swim and a few hours of sun bathing before noon.


Cool star fish

This morning I am a bit tired and went back to bed for a nap and some reading – luxury huh!?


Natural pools in Santa Cruz

It’s a bit easier for me to just get going in the morning and I love the quiet and freshness of a new day. But I have been in “training” with Anders (he’s an expert) to relax and also see when more rest is needed. So sometimes I do it this way.


Natural "jet stream"

Happy Sunday to you all! And Happy Mother’s Day in Sweden!

//Wivan, the star fish wannabe