The dark night

Full moon

When I was studying yoga a bit deeper some five years ago, my teacher at times spoke about The dark night of the soul. It was an expression used for the days and nights when the inner work, seeking and whatever comes up gets so dark you think it will never light up again. When everything feels meaningless, depressing, hard and without any hope.
The dark night of the soul. It sounds rather beautiful in some way.

This is how Eckhart Tolle explains it:

It is a term used to describe what one could call a collapse of a perceived meaning in life…an eruption into your life of a deep sense of meaninglessness.  The inner state in some cases is very close to what is conventionally called depression.

Eckhart Tolle

Anyways, the past week or so it has felt like the winter in southern Sweden has gone through the Dark night of the soul. It has been so dark for so many hours and I have had a hard time coping with it. Yesterday I wanted to go to bed by 5 pm just to be able to wake up again when it was daylight the next day. The nights have felt extremely long.

Star light

I have spoken to people who have been complaining over lack of energy, having doubts about this and that in life and that old trash has surfaced again in their mind. All of this reminded me about another thing we spoke about a lot in those intense yoga classes and courses I took: the natural rythm of life.
In our modern world we tend to forget that we as humans have a natural cycle that we follow whether we like it or not. For us living in countries where we have seasons, our bodies and minds usually follow the seasons.

In spring we often fall in love, want to grow and create and feel how life and energy comes back.

In summer we often like to nourish our bodies, relationships and minds. (as the farmers wanter and nourish the plants). 

In fall we start to harvest the things we have been working on earlier in the year, we stack up on food and often like to gather with friends.

In winter we like to slow down, rest more and our thoughts become more introspective.

Simply put: We become more thoughtful and tend to look more inwards and like to reflect on life and who we are during winter. It’s part of our natural cycle and something we can embrace rather than run away from.

The world of 2016 provides a lot of things and activities to escape from all kind of introspection and deeper thinking. It is up to us to dare and allow ourselves to slow down and look inward for a moment or two.

Who knows what is on the other side of that Dark night?

// Wivan

Opposite thinking

A night on my own – quite rare in my case nowadays, and something I usually like very much; to have the possibility to do… Anything. And to take responsibility for nobody but myself.


Cat sitting this pretty girl this week

So, with a night on my own ahead, what does my brain spin around?

“Who could I meet up with tonight? Someone in the area that I would like to see?”

Luckily I heard those thoughts and found it a bit contradictory to what I feel my deep need is – time alone. So, I did what my former self might not always dare: stay true to myself and choose time alone.


Bud bursting

Tomorrow I’m invited to a After Work in Kristianstad, and at first I wanted to go. After a closer look on the inside, I realized that the best for me right now is to again choose to hang out with the person that’s closest to me. Myself.



Alone and still a part of the whole

The night owl and the early bird

That’s us, Anders and Wivan, the former is a real night owl and the latter a early bird. Both of us can enjoy getting up early, catching the first sun in the morning, listening to a new day waking up and how nature goes from night to day. And both of us can enjoy staying up until late, talking, reading, dancing, watching a movie, reflecting on life or take a late night swim.


Morning walk

But we have quite different natural patterns in form of what’s easiest. For Anders it’s the late-night-life and for Wivan it’s getting-up-before-everyone. (But really, lately Wivan has sort of lost that ability, and rather wakes up in the middle of the night, or late morning.)

The other night, at dinner with friends, we came to talk about differences between the individuals in a couple, and how those differences can be very good in order to keep the relationship alive and healthy. We also discussed the importance of doing things separately even if you live together. For us, part of that happens naturally when one of us either gets up earlier than the other, or stays up later at night.


Early morning overlooking the Pyrenees

When’s your favorite time to be alone or to do your own thing?
// Anders & Wivan

Picture update

The midsummer pole broke...

The midsummer pole broke…

Last Friday we celebrated Midsummer Eve here in Sweden, a tradition that many people like and it’s even a national holiday.

The Midsummer pole after the re-set

The Midsummer pole after the re-set

We spent the Midsummer weekend with parts of our family at Wivan’s mom and extra dad’s place on the island Aspö outside the city of Karlskrona.

Our "Flores pannacotta"

Our “Flores pannacotta with berries”

A rainy ride on the ferry to Aspö

A rainy ride on the ferry to Aspö

The nights are bright and long in the summer in the northern parts of Europe. Even though we’re in southern Sweden it’s only a few hours that are dark during the nights.

The governor's recidence in Karlskrona, at 9pm

The governor’s recidence in Karlskrona, at 9pm

Afternoon walk

Afternoon walk

It was a bit funny on Midsummer day, when we took a walk and met so many others out walking – like it usually is also on Christmas day and New Year’s day.

One of many beautiful views

One of many beautiful views

Fresh strawberries, they're so tasty!

Fresh strawberries, they’re so tasty!

On a boat ride... Wivan caught in the life west and could hardly move

On a boat ride… Wivan caught in the life west and could hardly move

Anders on the boat - without getting sea sick!

Anders on the boat – without getting sea sick!