Afraid and scared, of what?

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House lit up at night

Just walked over to the neighbor’s house, where I have moved in today, and several other guests coming to the graduation also will be staying.

And oh my, was I aware of all the little sounds, the wide windows and that I was alone in the house?! Yes. Very much so.

Years back I was extremely afraid of being alone in the dark, and I had many different tactics for managing a night alone in our house, or brought a friend if I had to go outside in the dark.

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American duck tape

Now I was offered company to go over and get some stuff in my “new” room, but I said no thanks. I usually take moments like these to practice.

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A moose the other day

But, being here in Colorado, in the outskirts of town, it’s rather quiet and very dark at night. Something I like when looking at the moon and the stars, but not the best setup for ‘alone in an empty house’-practice.

So I decided that it was good enough to go there, get my stuff and calmly walk back and wait for the others to come.

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Rusty decorations

Maybe I’ve seen too many scary movies that take place in the US, maybe it’s just me not being trained in these types of environment, or maybe it just is what it is; not being used to a new house.

Nowadays I know that fear comes from my thinking about what is. That does not have to be true or real. Most often it’s not true and real, it’s just made up.
So, being afraid of being alone in the dark is my imagination of what could happen, there are no facts or experiences to back it up.

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Backyard

So tomorrow I’ll get more familiar with the house and surroundings in daylight, and keep practicing.

Until next time!
// Wivan

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New house sit booked: Sri Lanka!

It’s amazing sometimes how perfect times, plans and needs match. Yesterday we saw a listing we were interested in on Trusted Housesitters, and responded to it. Tonight we had a Skype call with the house- and dog owner in Sri Lanka and have agreed on going there late January for a week of house sitting.

And we’re welcome to come early, or to pass by and leave some stuff if we need to, and we can stay a few extra nights if we want to! In other words, she seems to be very flexible and generous.

Next house sit will be close to the beach!

Next house sit will be close to the beach!

This is something that has struck us time after time over the past 14 months of traveling and house sitting: We meet so many people who are open minded, generous and welcoming.

Despite all the fear that resides in some people and although we hear of humans feeling distrust, there’s a huge chunk of trust, faith in mankind and love for others out here as well.

Rose in France last October

Rose in France last October

We love being part of the trusting community, and hope that our experiences, as well as our being in the world, also becomes a part of a larger movement where we together can bring more trust back into people.

Peace out!

// Wivan and Anders

In the Azores last May

In the Azores last May

There’s always something happening in a city

Cars driving, people talking, traffic lights.

Chinese New Year decoration

Chinese New Year decoration

A dog on the sidewalk, kids playing, the sound of a bouncing tennis ball.

Clear directions

Clear directions

Coffee takeaway, a bicycle passing, the smell of cooking food.

Great World City Mall

Great World City Mall

A door that opens, a huge shopping mall covering the entire sight, umbrellas in the hands of walking people.

Robertson Quay walking bridge

Robertson Quay walking bridge

High heels, sport shoes, balloons and music.

Shopping district

Shopping district

Jogging, the smell of fresh bread, grown ups riding kick boards.

Central Expressway

Central Expressway

A honking horn, concrete, falling rain.

People, people, people

People, people, people

Lush green leafs, water, boats.

Fullerton Road

Fullerton Road

Cellphones, buses, birds.

Rooftop installation

Rooftop installation

Commercial, toilets, plastic bags.

Clear directions

Clear directions

Smells, noises, views, sensations and tastes.

Backpacker in Kampong Glam

Backpacker in Kampong Glam

Big and small, high and low, loud and quiet. Dark and light, new and old.

Construction site

Construction site

Friends, family, love, fear, workdays, parties.

Buddha Tooth Relic Temple

Buddha Tooth Relic Temple

Religion, morning walks, babies learning to talk.

Little India clean out

Little India clean out

Schools, maps, songs, tears, laughter, discussions, negotiations, movies, pictures, lyrics, paint, windows, walls, buildings, parks, streets, joy, depression, anger, holidays, practice and perfection.

Marina Bay Sands

Marina Bay Sands

There’s always something going on in a city.

“To spend while we live”

Woke up early, hearing the rooster crow in the chicken house and the wind blow outside our window. It’s a few hours left until we need to get up and bike to the village to get our last doses of vaccine.

In the darkness of the early morning, with thoughts of our coming travels, it became clear what we’re up to in the moment. We have chosen to spend our dreams, our money and our days while we still live, rather than “save it for later”.

Designated savings. Picture: gazettereview.com

Designated savings. Picture: gazettereview.com

Lots of people save. Everything from food and fire wood, to Facebook friends, money and number of square feet they live on. Our (Anders’ and Wivan’s) resources are not endless, of course, but we made a choice about a year ago, to spend while we live and to really follow our dreams.

Having fun!

Having fun!

We are making plans for the coming winter but still haven’t booked our tickets for South East Asia, though our plan is to leave France in about three weeks. Last night we, again, started to ask ourselves if we wanted to do some sightseeing in Europe or some other little tour before leaving for the winter. And after those discussions I had a moment of “but I have so many things I want to do and places to visit – will my life be long enough, and will the money last long enough?”.

So I loved waking up with the reminder of our decision and choice, to actually make use of our resources while we live, rather than save for later. This blog is called Live Fully Today. That holds a lot of different meanings and among others it means not to hold ourselves back or to save for later just because. We might want to save money, food or square feet for later – if that feels meaningful or really important. Right now everything shows us in a direction of spending time, love and moments of discovery together, in the world.

Morning coffee together

Morning coffee together

This in no means equals us throwing our saved money on useless things or spend it just because, but rather to actually put our time and money into what we want to do instead of keeping it out of fear or compare ourselves to others. Who knows what tomorrow brings?

Lots and lots of love,

Wivan

Letting the heart decide

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Sunset over Helgeå

Have tried to decide about an outdoor yoga class tomorrow morning… And the “not so sure” comes from the slightly tight schedule for getting changed for work, and having breakfast.

And as I though about it for the hundered time, it became totally clear: if I wasn’t afraid of the time, I would never hesitate. Thereby my mind was made up: as long as the weather is ok, I choose to give myself a good start in the morning and go to this yoga class.
Breakfast is already prepared, clothes are quick to change, my packing for the weekend I’ll pick up after work. Voilà!

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Good night!

Letting the heart and desire decide, rather than fear or obstacle-thinking.

Boom!
//Wivan

Faith vs fear

Your faith in the fact that this world has your best interests in mind but often send its miracles disguised as difficulties must be far bigger than your fear of those difficilties ruining your life. Your faith in the intelligence of the universe must be a lot larger than your fears that your’re all alone. There’s a much bigger plan unfolding, and you must trust in it. Once you do, the enchantment of your life will be given permission to rise to the surface.

 

– From the book The saint, the surfer and the CEO, by Robin Sharma –

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Got lost on yesterday's walk...

Sweating at the media

How interesting it is to get to know sides of yourself you weren’t aware of or haden’t noticed before.
Yesterday we were interviewed by a journalist from a local newspaper and I was sweating like crazy almost the whole time. Sure, I’ve worked as a journalist myself for many years and have been in plenty of interviews… the thing is that mostly it’s been me doing the interview and not the other way around.

Pensée and a fly

Pensée and a fly

As I write this I realize I did some quite challenging things on live radio last fall, where I was being very open and personal in talks with others, and that too was at times sweaty and brought up fear.

What actually was going on in me yesterday was thoughts of not getting our story “right” = a fear of not being good enough/being judged or to offend someone. Part of this is a habit of mine to take responsibility for other’s feelings or reactions, which of course can’t be my job – everyone needs to take care of their own best, and how could I even protect someone before anything even happened?

Wild wine

Wild wine

Part of what we “do” as we now sell the house, move out and start travelling is to follow our dream, based upon who we are and what we like. That stands for us and is nothing that we do in order to affect anyone or point fingers at someone, it’s just the choice we do for us.

When those fears show up it’s clearly thoghts of what others might think, say or do that play games in my head, nothing of it is true or real. Just stories made up. Still, they feel very real in the moment.

And I appreciate to be able to see how I tend to pull myself back a little, playing a bit smaller than I usually do, in order not to offend or push some buttons within other people in those situations.

Pretty cabbage

Pretty cabbage

Part of our journey is to live more fully, meaning also embracing those feelings, thoughts and scary things. So, I embrace them as they are and know they’re not me, at least not all of me and not who I am, it’s all thought and our thinking shifts from moment to moment.

Today I choose to be extra gentle with myself and let the growth on the inside settle a bit. // Wivan

 

Diving deep into the maze

Diving deep into the maze